Whatever happened to television?

I remember when the critics were saying: "More TV channels will make for bad television, just like what happened in America", how right they were.

Now, when you set out to plan your evening viewing you grab the remote and you start pressing buttons, you press 'Guide' and that opens a bag of worms, because it's full to overflowing with reality TV. Of course it is, it's cheap to make and produce, unfortunately it isn't, if you have a brain, what you want to watch. You'll fall upon one cookery, food programme after another, yes some, but very few of them are nicely shot, but mostly the presenters are very likely to put you off your food for life. They'll definitely get stuck in your throat, and they are very likely to make you vomit.

However, if you scroll in the right direction you may come across some real, well written comedy with the reruns of that great 70s series, 'MASH', the scripts, the dialogue is inspired, there's a real laugh in every cut. The actors too know just how to deliver those gags, their performance is seamless, also you will remember their gags word perfect, always the sign of a good show.

As you move on with your remote button pressing you'll very soon realise that real light entertainment no longer exists, you know that entertainment that did actually entertain, comedy which did actually make you laugh, shows which you didn't want to miss for fear of the conversations in the office the next day which you couldn't get involved in. Shows like Morecambe & Wise, the Two Ronnies. Shows which hit the big viewing figures; the 1977 Morecambe & Wise Christmas show hit 27 million viewers, never again will that happen. Why? Well the TV companies just don't have the talented people to spot real talent.

You can keep pressing your remote buttons but you sure as hell won't find new sitcoms that come anywhere close to the likes of Only Fools and Horses or Steptoe & Son or Til Death Us Do Part. They were also a feature of the time when comedy WAS funny, and writers and the TV companies they wrote for weren't afraid of the big bad wokery, the idiots who want to dicatate what we laugh at.

I must admit your remote button pressing will probably settle upon some decent drama, there does seem to be some attention paid in that direction. Although, in some cases creativity has been replaced by a little too much diversity.

But why oh why do the TV companies keep flogging a dead horse when it comes to their quiz shows? Blankety Blank was funny back when Terry Wogan and Les Dawson presented it. With real funny men in the chair you are always on to a winner, you only have to watch how those presenters lead the comedy in the show and make it pure entertainment, watchable time and again. The celebrity game shows are a very different watch, if your button pressing settles on Would I Lie To You, well, you'll have many laughs, it's a well put together show, Lee Mack taking centre stage.

I do have to ask myself why the likes of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here is still alive after watching another celebrity eat another pig's penis while Ant & Dec give a blow by blow account.

By now, as I press more buttons on the remote control looking for the evening's viewing I take a wide detour around Love Island and continue to navigate the cheap as chips cookery shows. Then I'll decide if I want to watch a soggy bottom on Bake Off or it's a choice of even more deadly reality shows; who wants to see some prick go way over budget building a ridiculous looking ecological home in suburbia on Grand Designs, or watch a bunch of complete idiots running round the world for £20K.

The reality is, terrestrial television has totally lost the plot. Time to change the batteries in the remote to enable me to take a look further at the rest of the 399 channels offering even more crap before I move on to Netflix, Amazon, Disney, etc, etc.

When we had just three channels, there was so much more good television to watch. Less is most definitely more.

Cut to Morecambe & Wise singing Bring Me Sunshine. They turn and dance their famous dance away from camera...into credits.